Trauma is an experience that cannot be resolved in the moment it happens and integrated into one’s reality. It is a worldwide disease. It affects every single soul on the plant. Everyone processes trauma differently because we face them thought the len of our experiences. This leaves lasting scars that most people don’t know how to resolve. Most of the time you might have been told get over it, that you’er a big boy/girl that they don’t cry or might have been gaslit into thinking what happened wasn’t the actual reality.
The trauma that we experience shapes our lives, the way we interact with others, our attachment style, physical connection to our body and the list goes on. This was abundantly clear when I joined a few CPTSD and PTSD groups on Facebook. I saw that a lot of people were having relationship problems, they could barely work, unhappy, disassociated, on loads of medications that didn’t seem to help. There were a few people that were told by their therapist that they were a loss cause and that they should just expect to be that way for the rest of their life. Most of the issues that they were facing were ones from childhood and after years and years of professional help they were worse than before they sough help. They were still unresolved. Still holding onto coping mechanisms that did not serve them, in fact they were holding them back.
This made me feel uneasy and a bit sick to my stomach. Thousands of posts like this and no a single person saying anything was working. I joined the group because I like the others in the group went through a massive about of trauma. I scored a 10 on the ACE test. 12.5% of people have a score of above a 4.
Take it here acestoohigh.com
After taking the test it really started to sink in the trauma I experienced. I was one of those kids that was told that I should be grateful and that others had it worse. Crying and any negative emotion was not allowed and if I showed it I was shamed until I learned to repress those emotions. Which I did with ease. It made for horrible boundaries. I was a people pleaser because if I was exactly what you needed and wanted me to be it was easy to get my needs met and I wasn’t going to be beaten. My adult life was out of control. I tried to commit suicide 3 different times and turned to alcohol. I tried counseling and medication none of which helped. I was told by my last counselor that she didn’t know how I wasn’t a drug addict, dead, or a prostitute. She had no idea how I was managing a multi million dollar business. During that time I was just highly functioning. I thought that I was going to be miserable, disassociated, unable to have functioning relationships for the rest of my life.
I was introduced to a few new healing modalities; The Completion Process and Parts Work. It was on a trip back to my home to gather my belongs to move. My then boyfriend, now Fiancé was with me when I went to my childhood home to say hi and show him where I lived. As we all know going back in to the place you had a lot of trauma can set off triggers. That on top of the reflection he gave of the situation I grew up in. He got to see my room that was in a basement with concrete floors, no heat, filled with ducts and I shared the room with the large compressor for the A.C. unit. He commented on the creepy hand prints my sisters put on the wall with green and yellow paint. He saw the the 8 dogs in the house were being treated better than someone would be that was kept in the basement. The fact that there were spiders everywhere. This was normal for me. This reflection of the actuality of my situation sent me into a huge panic attack. What was seemingly normal to me, what not actually normal. I had been given permission to have those feelings again that I had repressed growing up.
I was so deep in the trigger that I couldn’t breath or move. He got me to our hotel room and tried to be with my pain. I couldn’t calm down. So he asked if he could try The Completion Process on me. I said yes and went though the steps he had learned from the book and from the practitioner that he had been working with regularly. At the end I was calm. It was like I was put back together. There was a deep undeniable since of serenity. I had just had a 3 hour long panic attack. One where I could not breath. The one where you pray just to take from this life because the pain is unbearable. All the repressed emotions bubbled up and reached the surface. The angry was coming and there was no holding it down.
the process took about 90 minutes. I had never in my life felt that amount of relief from any medicine or talk therapy. I had to know more about the process. So I dove into the work. Anytime a trigger came up I did Completion Process. Every time saving that inner child that was stuck in that in that original trauma. More and more I collected part of myself the better I felt. It was hard and difficult work but I can say now that I don’t have triggers coming up daily. I have safe relationships with my self and others. I have boundaries and I can ask for my needs to be met.
Reading the thousands of post in the Trauma groups shows me that these people are breaking, they have no hope and the will be on medication for the rest of their lives. They are being told that they have to buck up and deal with it. That there is no other way and it permanent.
Doesn’t that feel wrong? It feels bad to think that you are unfixable and stuck that way for the rest of your life. You shouldn’t feel hopeless in this situation. Why can’t the mainstream psychology help? After this much time why is it failing millions of people?
I’m here to tell you that there is hope. That you can heal and be whole again. That you can have an integrated life. That the parts of yourself that are stuck in those past traumas can be healed and you can move forward a full person.
I got a lot of blow back on my comments and offering to help people in the groups. I got “Who are you to do this”. “If this worked so well why isn’t everyone doing it?” “What school did you go to?” “Shouldn’t you leave that work to people that went to collage”?
I pose a different question… Why are people still in pain in the hands of a therapist? Why are people still killing themselves on medications is supposed to help them? Why are we being told that we will never recover? Why can’t they heal PTSD and CPTSD? Why is there is so much suffering in the world?
Why am I alive today? I noticed something was broken in the system. My original thought lead me to ask more and need more. I’m not going to just be ok with being told I’m going to need medication for the rest of my life. I’m not ok with being told that there is nothing I can do. Their limiting beliefs are not my own and that is what has brought me to this integrated place.
I help people all over the world integrate trauma and become whole again. If you want to know more please message me. We can deep dive into the traumas holding you back together. Start you healing today Kristeena1111.com